He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
