so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
