I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
