Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Can you bring me the toilet please
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
