You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
