when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
