i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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