If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
