i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
