Me. At least after what I've been through.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I believe in your delicious
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
