Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
