garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
