how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
