I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
