im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
