Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I know her cup size but not her name....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
