I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
