oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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