He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
