I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
