And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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