I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
