He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
