I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
you made out with another girl for some wings
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
