i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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