I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
