She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
