I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
