At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
