After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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