Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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