Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
