my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
