I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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