You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
