she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
