would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
