First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
