i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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