I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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