I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
