I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
