he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
