I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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