This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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