you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
