ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
