And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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