i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
