I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
